As a Gilbert baby photographer, I’ve seen firsthand how those final weeks of pregnancy can feel like the whole world is on pins and needles, just waiting to rush in and meet your baby the moment they arrive.
But what if that’s not what you want?
What if, instead, you’re craving some quiet, private time with your newborn? It’s okay to want that—and it’s more than okay to say “no” to visitors.
After I had each of my babies, I was so blessed to have my mother-in-law come stay with me for a few weeks. She was EXCELLENT about helping with whatever I needed. She knew that for me, my preference was to stay in my room and cuddle on my baby without interruptions, so she would cook, clean, take care of the other kids and handle visitors for me.
In this blog post, we’ll dive into why it’s important to prioritize your needs, how to set loving boundaries, and what alternatives you can offer to your eager friends and family.
So, you can enjoy those first precious moments with your baby, just the way you want.
It’s Okay to Prioritize Your Needs
First off, let’s bust the myth: saying ‘no’ to visitors doesn’t make you a bad host or an ungrateful family member. It makes you a mom who’s prioritizing her and her baby’s needs.
Remember, this time is about recovery, both physically and emotionally. If you just want your mom or your sister, that’s ok too.
Health Comes First
With a newborn, health is paramount. Limiting visitors can be a health decision too. Newborns have delicate immune systems, and it’s okay to want to minimize exposure to germs.
Here are some pediatrician tips for baby’s health in the early weeks of life.
Bonding Time is Precious
As a Gilbert baby photographer, I believe the early days with your baby are truly irreplaceable. They’re for bonding, learning each other’s cues, and easing into a new routine. Filling this time with visitors can easily disrupt that crucial connection.
You only get to have your baby as a tiny newborn once. So don’t be shy about letting people know your boundaries and it’s ok to just lock the door and not answer!
It’s About Emotional Well-being
Postpartum blues are real, and the last thing you need is the stress of entertaining. Your emotional well-being is just as important as your physical recovery.
Setting Boundaries is Healthy
Setting boundaries is healthy for all relationships. It’s a way to communicate your needs respectfully. Start by having an honest conversation with potential visitors before the baby arrives. Explain that you’ll be limiting visitors and why.
Example, “I want to start by saying how grateful we are for all the love and support you’ve shown our family, especially as we welcome our new baby into the world. Your role in our baby’s life is truly cherished, and we appreciate everything you’ve done and will continue to do as he/she grows up. I’d like to have an open and honest conversation with you about something important. As a new parent, my top priority is ensuring our baby’s well-being. I’ve been learning from friends, our doctor, and our midwife about the significance of those first few days for bonding and breastfeeding which is why we won’t have visitors until baby is X days/weeks old. I want you to know that limiting visitors during this time is not a reflection of my love for you. It’s a necessary step for the health and adjustment of our family and we love you so much”
Offer Alternatives
As a Gilbert baby photographer—and a mom myself—I know how important it is to let your loved ones know their support is still valued. Suggest alternative ways they can help, like dropping off meals or running errands. This lets them be involved without overwhelming you.
I didn’t love having visitors come hold my baby in those early days, but I did appreciate friends and family bringing meals so I didn’t have to cook! Make sure to let them know what would actually be helpful. Chances are, they really do want to support you.
Don’t Forget the Power of Technology
Thank goodness for technology! Suggest video calls as an alternative to in-person visits. This way, everyone gets to see the baby without invading your space.
You Can Always Change Your Mind
Finally, remember, it’s your right to change your mind. If you feel up to visitors sooner or later than expected, that’s perfectly fine.
This is your journey and your baby! Setting boundaries is not just okay; it’s necessary. And you can do so lovingly!
Looking for more mom-life tips, guidance, or stories?
Click here for a post with tips on welcoming a new baby to older siblings.
Or click here to learn more about my Gilbert Baby Photography!
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